Imperfect me serving a perfect God

I slowly realized that the evidence of Jesus in a man’s life is Change! I am not talking about APC o. Today I decided to sit and look back on my walk with him – has it been perfect? Of course not! There has been ups and downs. Things I have struggled not to let go of, spiritual dryness, dashed hopes…

There have been several things I wanted to go my way and they didn’t. Several things I didn’t expect to happen at all but they did (Great testimonies). Humbling times when I didn’t expect the Lord to work through me but he showed me it wasn’t about me, it was about him. I always wanted to be in the perfect state to be used many at times. Was I? Nah! I have known the feeling of unworthiness and its not one I like.

I have had my shortcomings more than I would have wanted. I have had days were I have lost my calm and acted in an unseeming manner. Oh, I have my good time and they have possibly been way more than the seemingly down times. There were times I have been self righteous and in my self righteous I had judged those who weren’t like me! Ehnnn! Yes I have. When I have done all (placed myself on rigorous do’s and dont’s)  then I looked at myself and said hmmm Mercy spotless clean! Stupid right? Well that’s where I was.

I can go on but that will be taking the light from who deserves it today and every other day, Jesus!!! I am quite lucky to have meet him quite early in my life. Was there a time I came to question the existence of Christ? Yes o! I asked myself even tho I had a testimony of him while I used to suck my hand at the age of five there about. I had questions in my heart about him and I felt so bad asking them at all. I kept at my prayers and all but it just was a thought that kept coming – Are you just following God because you heard there is a God? Is Christ really real? Most definitely! I confided in a friend who didn’t judge me for having these questions she only joined me in praying that I get my answers. I am glad I did.

I hate to admit that I am imperfect! Arrrrhh it does get to me because I want to be perfect! I have a phobia for not being perfect…I have therefore learned to remove my eye from myself as I see my ineffectiveness and fix them on Jesus Christ who gradually changes me and conforms me to the image he wants me to be! I have therefore learned to enjoy this change process I am in daily. Irrespective of occasionally slips, I know it happens when I remove my gaze from the one who has me. This consciousness of my imperfections leaves me in total dependency on this perfect God, it doesn’t leave me feeling insecure but it leaves me knowing that without him I am just ME – Imperfect!

There are so many imperfect people who have given up on perfection – fix your eyes on Jesus. He has not given up on you! He came solely because of you! Let him deal with each and every layer – The insecurity, the secret sin, the lies, failures. Me I have just had my plenty imperfections and so have other people (*some call it a weakness) well weakness show us how imperfect we can be but there is hope. We can find perfection in God! That’s how my journey has been so far! This is a statement I always make God help me – I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, GOD! I HAVE CHOSEN YOU (*OR YOU CHOSE ME). I HAVE SEEN YOU AND YOU ARE JUST THE BEST PLACE TO BE IN! I AM HOPELESS/LOST WITHOUT YOU…That’s why I love the song by Tye Tribbett – What can I do? Couldn’t find the video 🙁  but I found a great one by Kari Jobe!

Here are scriptures you may want to read as you find joy resting in Him:

Jude 1:24 KJV

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,

Philippians 1:6 KJV

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

See Also

Four Essential Steps for New Christians in Embracing their Faith

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